She Hasn’t Seen Her Brother on Christmas in Four Years, and the Day He Finally Could Come, He Told Her He Wouldn’t Come Unless He Could Bring His Wife’s Family Too
A woman’s brother has spent the last three Christmases with his wife’s family. This year, he finally seemed free, so she invited him to the Christmas lunch she’s hosting.
Then he asked if his wife’s mother, sister, and the sister’s boyfriend could come too. When she said no, he told her that if they can’t come, he won’t either, and now he’s blaming her for the family being apart on Christmas.
Three Christmases Away
Her brother’s in-laws live in different places, so they can’t all gather every year. Because of that, he’s spent the past three holidays with his wife’s side.
Her own family understood. They all live fairly close, so they can see each other every Christmas, even if her brother isn’t there.
Still, they’ve missed him. Each year without him has made the day feel a little incomplete.
Hosting for the Family Again
She hosted Christmas at her house last year and offered to do it again. No one else in the family has the space or budget to host a large group.
Hosting a holiday meal is expensive. Between food, drinks, decorations, and supplies, a Christmas lunch for a big group can easily run several hundred dollars.
Her guest list includes her mother and her in-laws, her children’s grandparents. It’s meant to be a close family gathering.
Inviting Her Brother Home
This year, it looked like her brother didn’t have any other plans. He wasn’t traveling, so she invited him to join them.
She was excited at the chance to spend Christmas with him again. It would be the first time in four years.
His child, a baby, would also get to spend part of the day with her side of the family. That made the invitation feel even more special.
His Wife’s Mother Comes to Town
Then her brother sent a message. His wife’s biological mother, who lives far away, would be in town for Christmas and staying with his wife’s sister.
He asked if the mother, sister, and the sister’s boyfriend could come to lunch. He explained that the mother doesn’t get to see her grandchild often and didn’t want to miss Christmas with him.
The woman wasn’t comfortable with the idea. She doesn’t know them well, and neither do her in-laws.
Three Extra Guests
She worried that her brother’s in-laws wouldn’t mix well with the rest of the group. They tend to stick to people they already know.
That could mean her brother spending the whole lunch looking after them. It could also mean the baby’s other grandmother would take up most of the time with him.
She wanted her own family, including her mother, to get time with the baby too. Adding three more people seemed likely to change that.
The Cost of Hosting More People
Adding three extra guests would also increase the cost of the meal. More food, drinks, and seating would be needed.
For someone already covering the entire event, that adds up. Each extra person can mean more groceries, more preparation, and more expense.
She agreed to host her own family. She didn’t plan for, or agree to, feeding guests she barely knows.
All Five or None
When she told her brother she wouldn’t host his in-laws, he said he wouldn’t come either. He told her he couldn’t deny his mother-in-law time with her grandchild.
Now he’s blaming her for the family not being together on Christmas. To her, that feels unfair, since he invited people to an event he isn’t hosting.
His position hasn’t changed. If all five of them can’t come, none of them will.
Four Hours on Christmas Day
She’s reminded him that Christmas lunch and presents only take about four hours. He could spend the morning and the rest of the day with his in-laws.
His mother-in-law will also be staying nearby and can see the baby on the days before and after Christmas. Even so, he won’t budge.
She wants everyone to have a good holiday, but she also wants time with her brother. She’s left wondering whether she should have simply given in, or whether wanting one Christmas with her own family is really too much to ask.
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