She Started Her First Job Out of College at a Private Equity Firm, and a Month In, a Senior Woman Told Her Her Outfits Weren’t “Polished” Enough but Won’t Give Her Any Specifics
A 23-year-old woman recently started her first job after college as an analyst at a small private equity firm. About a month in, one of the most senior women at the company told her that her outfits weren’t polished enough.
When she asked what specifically needed to change, she didn’t get a clear answer. Now she’s self-conscious about what she wears every day and wondering whether the feedback is really about professionalism or something else.
A First Job Out of College
She graduated in May and landed her first full-time role soon after. Starting a new career comes with plenty of pressure, from learning the work to figuring out unwritten office rules.
Building a professional wardrobe can be expensive too. Suits, blazers, shoes, and tailoring can easily cost hundreds or even thousands of dollars, which is a lot for someone just starting out.
An Office of Mostly Men
Most of her coworkers are men, and only three other women work there. She technically reports to four partners, all of them men.
The firm is small and doesn’t have an HR department or an employee handbook. That leaves dress expectations largely unwritten.
Feedback Without Specifics
The senior woman who spoke to her isn’t her direct supervisor, but she’s one of the firm’s most senior employees. She told the young analyst she needed to look more polished.
When asked what was wrong with her outfits, the senior employee didn’t give specifics. She simply repeated that the analyst needed a more polished look.
Slacks, Turtlenecks, and Layers
Her usual outfits include black, gray, or navy slacks with turtlenecks or button-down shirts, cardigans, and heels. The office is cold, so she often wears layers.
The senior employee suggested more blouses and blazers and even offered to get her a space heater. Meanwhile, the men in the office usually wear khakis with polos, button-downs, or quarter-zips.
Her suits are new, but some of her shirts are a few years old and none of her clothes are tailored. Tailoring can be costly, and she hasn’t had the budget for it yet as a recent graduate.
An Offer to Pay for New Clothes
The senior employee offered to take her shopping and said the company would pay. She acknowledged that building a professional wardrobe for a first job is expensive.
The analyst agreed to go. However, no date has been set yet.
Tattoos and a Double Standard
She was also told to cover her tattoos. She has three small tattoos on her upper arms and forearm, and they’re usually hidden unless she takes off her sweater in her own office.
Another woman in the office has a visible forearm tattoo, and nobody seems to mind. The senior employee herself often wears short plaid skirts and knee-high boots, which the analyst doesn’t consider especially formal.
Curly Hair and Unspoken Rules
She has naturally curly hair and usually wears it that way. The other women in the office tend to straighten theirs.
She sometimes straightens her hair, but doing it every day could damage it. She’s also wondering whether there are unspoken expectations about dressing more femininely, especially after hearing a mention of dresses.
Overheard Laughter
One day, while walking to ask the senior employee a question, she overheard her talking about her clothes with a coworker. They weren’t saying anything openly cruel, but they were laughing.
Hearing her appearance discussed that way hurt. She’s left wondering whether she’s missing something about professional attire, or whether the expectations at her new job are simply inconsistent and unfair.
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