She’s Caring for Their 3 Month Old Solo While He Visits His Mom in the Hospital Nightly, Even Though His Sister Already Visits Twice a Day

A 36-year-old woman and her 46-year-old partner recently welcomed a baby boy they’d wanted for a long time. Just as her partner’s demanding work schedule was finally easing up, his 86-year-old mother broke her femur, and now he’s spending every evening at the hospital.

She’s been caring for their 3-and-a-half-month-old almost entirely on her own. She’s asked him to cut back to visiting every other day, and she’s wondering whether that’s fair to ask.

A Long-Awaited Baby

The couple’s son was much wanted and long awaited. His arrival was a joyful moment, and the early months have been full of the usual exhaustion that comes with a newborn.

She’s on maternity leave and spends her days caring for the baby by herself. Her partner returned to work after the birth, which means most of the daily care falls on her.

Maternity Leave and One Paycheck

Maternity leave often comes with a financial squeeze. Depending on the job, pay during leave can be reduced or unpaid for part of the time, which puts more pressure on the working partner’s income.

That may be part of why her partner has been working so much. With a new baby and a household to support, long hours can feel necessary, even when they come at the cost of time at home.

Weeks of Late Nights at Work

For three or four weeks, her partner has been especially busy. He’s worked late evenings and weekends, leaving the couple with almost no time together.

She’s been handling the baby and the chores on her own through it all. She was looking forward to finally having more help once his schedule calmed down.

A Fall and a Fractured Femur

Then, just as he was supposed to have more free time, his 86-year-old mother fell and fractured her femur. She’s now in the hospital and recovering from a difficult surgery.

Doctors have recommended strict bed rest, and she’s expected to stay in the hospital for about six weeks. For an injury like that at her age, recovery can be long and slow.

Every Evening at the Hospital

Visiting hours are around midday and in the evening, so her partner goes straight to the hospital after work. He doesn’t make it home until somewhere between half past 8 and 9 at night.

By then, the baby is already asleep. Even when he gets home, he usually doesn’t have much time or energy before the night is over.

Six Weeks of Bed Rest

She asked him if he planned to keep visiting his mother every day for the full six weeks. He said of course he would, because seeing him makes her happy.

That answer left her frustrated. She already knew he’d barely been home for weeks, and six more weeks of the same felt like too much.

She’s tired of handling all the childcare and housework alone. Hiring help, like a sitter or a cleaner, could ease some of that pressure, but it would also mean adding a new expense at a time when the household budget is already stretched.

A Sister Who Visits Too

His mother isn’t alone during her stay. Her partner’s sister visits every day, sometimes twice a day, since she doesn’t work and doesn’t have a spouse or children at home.

That’s part of why she feels daily visits from him aren’t necessary. His mother already has steady company, while his own son is missing out on time with his father.

His mother isn’t in immediate danger, either. Her partner has even suggested taking a long weekend abroad to visit family, which makes it seem like he isn’t worried about leaving for a few days.

Every Other Day Instead

She doesn’t want him to stop visiting his mother altogether. She thinks every other day is a reasonable balance, and believes his mother would understand that he also has a job and a young family.

Still, she’s worried about how the request comes across. She’s left wondering whether asking him to cut back makes her unfair, or whether six weeks of evenings at the hospital will leave her carrying the weight of their home and their son on her own for far longer than she can manage.

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