Her Cousin’s 12 Year Old Has a History of Outbursts and Hitting People, and She’s Scared to Tell Her He’s Not Invited To Her Wedding
A bride-to-be is planning a big family wedding where kids are welcome. There’s just one child she doesn’t want there, her cousin’s 12-year-old son, and she’s losing sleep over how to say it.
She’s close with her cousin and wants her at the wedding, along with her younger son. But the older boy’s behavior has her and her fiancé worried he’ll disrupt the day, and possibly cost them money in the process.
A Big Family Wedding
The couple is planning a large wedding with plenty of relatives. Her other cousins are all bringing their kids, and children are part of the celebration.
That makes the situation harder. Leaving out one child stands out when everyone else is invited.
A Cousin She Grew Up With
She and her cousin grew up very close, and she loves her dearly. There was never any question that her cousin would be invited to the wedding.
Her cousin’s younger son is sweet and well-behaved. The bride would be happy to have him there.
A 12-Year-Old Who Acts Out
Her cousin’s older son is a different story. Wherever the family goes, he tends to have outbursts, swearing, shouting, and sometimes hitting people.
He doesn’t show respect for his parents or grandparents and doesn’t respond to anyone trying to correct him. Being around him can be stressful for everyone in the room.
Years Without Consequences
The bride believes the problem has grown because his behavior has been allowed for years. She doesn’t expect anyone at the wedding to step in or correct him if he acts up.
That’s what worries her most. She’s convinced that if he comes, something will go wrong, and nobody will be in a position to stop it.
Every Other Kid Is Invited
Asking her cousin to leave him at home would mean singling him out. With every other child in the family invited, it’s likely to feel personal.
She knows her cousin would be heartbroken. She’s afraid the conversation could damage their relationship, possibly for good.
Money Spent on One Day
The couple is spending a lot of money on their wedding. Between the venue, food, decorations, and everything else, weddings can easily cost tens of thousands of dollars.
With that much invested, she wants the day to go smoothly. She doesn’t think it’s fair for one guest’s behavior to ruin the celebration for her, her fiancé, or anyone else who’s there.
A Damage Deposit on the Line
Her fiancé has made it clear he doesn’t want the boy there at all. He’s also worried about whether they’ll get their damage deposit back from the venue.
Damage deposits can run from a few hundred dollars to well over a thousand. If anything gets broken or damaged during the event, that money could be lost, adding an unexpected cost on top of an already expensive day.
She had briefly wondered whether the venue’s coordinator could step in and remove him if needed. After thinking it over, she decided that wouldn’t be fair to the venue staff.
A Conversation She Dreads
Now she’s stuck deciding whether to ask her cousin to leave her son at home or hope he behaves. She’s afraid of hurting someone she’s been close to her whole life.
At the same time, she can’t shake the worry that he’ll disrupt the day they’ve spent so much time and money planning. Every option seems to come with a cost, and she’s running out of time to decide which one she’s willing to pay.
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