Her Daughter Wanted to Host Thanksgiving in Her New Home, but Won’t Be There to Cook, and Her Husband Got Angry When She Said She Wouldn’t Do All the Work
For 27 years, a mother has cooked every Thanksgiving dinner on her own, turkey and every side included. This year, her daughter wanted to host in her new home, which sounded like a welcome change.
Then she learned her daughter would be at her fiancé’s family event all day and wouldn’t be cooking. Instead, the mom is expected to make everything in her own kitchen, pack it up, drive it across town, and carry it up three flights of stairs, and her husband won’t consider any other plan.
Twenty-Seven Years of Holiday Cooking
She’s handled every holiday meal for nearly three decades. Turkey, sides, desserts, and everything in between have always been her responsibility.
She’s never relied on anyone else to bring dishes. Cooking a full holiday meal takes the entire day, from early prep to the final cleanup.
Hosting Thanksgiving can also be expensive. A turkey, sides, and extras for a family meal can easily cost $100 to $200 or more.
Keeping Everything Hot
She doesn’t mind cooking. She considers herself a good cook and enjoys making the meal for her family.
Her biggest challenge has always been timing. Getting every dish hot and ready at the same moment is difficult when one person is doing everything.
There are also several loads of dishes to wash afterward. Still, she’s always been willing to handle it.
Her Daughter’s New Home
Her daughter and her fiancé, both in their mid-20s, moved into a new home in August. It has a brand-new kitchen.
Her daughter said she wanted to host Thanksgiving there to show off the house. The mom thought it was a great idea.
She hoped it might mean an easier holiday for once. With a new kitchen available, she expected the work to be shared.
Hosting Without Being There to Cook
Then her husband told her the daughter would be spending the whole day at her fiancé’s family event. She wouldn’t be home to cook.
Even so, she still planned to host the dinner at her house. The mom would be expected to do all of the cooking.
That meant the meal would be at her daughter’s home, but every dish would come from the mom’s kitchen.
Cooking, Packing, and Driving Across Town
The plan requires her to cook everything at home and keep it hot. Then she’d need to pack it all up and drive it across town.
She’d also have to clean her own kitchen afterward. Transporting a full holiday meal can mean buying insulated carriers, foil pans, and extra containers, which adds to the cost.
To her, it made more sense to serve the food at her own house. That way, everything could go straight from the oven to the table.
Three Flights of Stairs
Her daughter’s home is up three flights of stairs. Carrying heavy dishes, a turkey, and hot food up those stairs would be exhausting.
The process would turn an already long day into an even bigger task. It would also make it harder to keep the food hot.
She worried about the extra physical strain. Cooking for a crowd is already tiring enough.
Compromises Her Husband Rejected
She suggested several alternatives. She offered to make half the dishes or just the turkey.
She also suggested storing some food at her daughter’s house the day before or having her daughter make two or three dishes. Each idea was rejected.
Her husband responded with anger, cursing and calling her names. He also called their daughter and said the mom must not care about her new home.
More Work Instead of Less
She does care about her daughter’s new home and is excited for her. She just doesn’t see how this counts as hosting when she’s doing all the work.
What has always been a big job now feels even harder. She’s left wondering whether she’s wrong for pushing back, or whether after 27 years of doing it all, she finally deserves a little help.
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